Mario's Weakness
by Pseudo Twili
Summary: Mario can't decide what food to order… From Super Paper Mario


_This story came to me one time when I was playing Super Paper Mario and I was looking at the recipes contained in the Dining Specializer. My sister walked by as I was going over the page with the chocolate items (the page with the cakes was right next to it) and then she said something about with all that chocolate and cake it was no wonder Mario was fat! That gave me quite a laugh and also inspired this story, which has been brewing in my mind for quite some time. Now I have finally put it down in words and I hope you enjoy its silly shortness._

 _All characters, places, etc belong to Nintendo, obviously._

 **Mario's Weakness-by Pseudo Twili**

That last Pure Heart was an ordeal to acquire, not to mention how heartbreaking that scene at the end of their journey was. The foursome was rather worn-out when they finally returned to Flipside. Of course Merlon was really glad to see that Peach and Bowser were back once again and that they were all together at last. They followed him to his house for a chat, as they customarily did; Merlon spoke of the ever-growing void and that they needed to hurry to place the white Pure Heart in the last Heart Pillar.

However, a couple of the heroes' stomachs growled then, and Merlon said, "Perhaps you should take a little break before you go off though. There's no sense in going adventuring when you're hungry. You should go down to Saffron's place and get her to cook you up a fine meal. She'd enjoy it!"

The others were quite agreeable, except for Bowser, who wanted to go stomp the guy who was going too far by kidnapping Princess Peach and trying to destroy the world that he wanted to conquer. "Nuh, uh," was his grumpy reply. "All I want to do is wreck that Bleck guy."

Mario and Luigi could cajole and wheedle until they were as blue in the face as their overalls, but then Peach said, "Please, Bowser. I'm so hungry and tired, too. I need a rest."

"Okay, fine! But you super stupid brothers had better not get Koopasta again!" He had a horror of that meal ever since he learned that the Turtley leaves used in the dish came from his own (brainwashed) Koopas.

So they all climbed aboard the elevator and rode down to the first floor; the elevator was once again a tight fit for the heroes now that Bowser was back with the party. Mario hurried ahead to Saffron's establishment and opened the door for the princess. She entered with a quiet "Thank you, Mario." Then Bowser pushed Luigi out of the way and bumped into Mario in his haste to stay close to Peach. Neither brother said anything; Mario especially had been forced to get used to Bowser during the course of their journey together.

"Well, well!" cried Saffron, the cheery cook of the tiny eatery, Sweet Smiles. "Hello, sugars! Back from another long adventure?"

"Yes, we are," Peach replied. "We were wondering if you could fix us something good to eat before we head off again."

"I'd love nothing better, sugar! What's it going to be today?"

The four heroes took turns flipping through the electronic pages of the Dining Specializer to determine what they wanted. Princess Peach selected a Veggie Set, Shroom Delicacy, and a small slice of Peach Tart. Bowser chose the Volcano Shroom, Spicy Dinner, Gorgeous Steak, and Dangerous Delight. Luigi picked for his meal the Spaghetti Plate, Miracle Dinner, and Stamina Juice.

Then came Mario's turn to choose what he was going to eat. Naturally, he always enjoyed spaghetti and mushrooms and he'd grown rather fond of the Koopa Pilaf, but he stopped when he reached the page with all the chocolatey items. He just stared at them and he actually started to drool, just a little; he simply could not tear himself away. There was Standard Chocolate, Sweet Choco-bar, Shroom Choco-bar, Golden Choco-bar, Chocolate Cake, and even a Choco Pasta Dish! The Gingerbread House also had chocolate smeared over its entirety! Oh, all the chocolate was just TOO good to pass up! He forgot about mushrooms and spaghetti and stared at the chocolate. He just couldn't decide which one to have. The Shroom Choco-bar, or the Chocolate Cake, or the Choco Pasta? It was absolutely maddening how many chocolate things there were for him to choose from.

The others were growing impatient for him to complete his order.

"Mario, are you finished yet?" Peach asked in an even, perfectly calm tone.

"Hey, Bro, don't you think Saffron needs your decision so she can make the food?"

Bowser growled, followed by his stomach making an echo. "If only you took this long to decide how to invade my castle and I'd have pounded you for good!"

Those voices were all quite natural and did not in the least help Mario come to a decision. Maybe he should have the Golden Choco-bar (Squirps had thought it quite nice) and the Gingerbread House. But right then, a strange voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Wow, look at all that chocolate! That must be why Mario is fat if he eats all that!" A great deal of laughter followed that remark.

Mario jumped at least a foot. Where in the name of the Ancients did that disembodied voice come from?! His companions were standing nearby waiting for him and for their food, Saffron was going back and forth between the stove, where she stirred a pot of spaghetti, and the countertop, where she tossed the salad and peeled an egg. Mario knew that the voice did not belong to any of the persons present. He cast his gaze around Saffron's kitchen but there was nothing out of the ordinary. It was just a kitchen with four walls, a stove, counter and cupboards, lots of food and cooking implements, and a table with half a dozen chairs. There was no one else there.

Peach noticed his nervous glances about the room and inquired, "Is something wrong, Mario?"

"Did you a-hear a-that?" he questioned.

Luigi stepped closer and interjected, "Hear what, Bro?"

"That-a voice," Mario replied.

"A voice?" Peach looked puzzled. "What voice?"

"Bro, are you sure you're all right? I didn't hear a voice."

"Is the great man hearing things now?" Bowser guffawed. "Ha ha ha! I'll have to save that one to tell my minions!"

 _That was-a really a-strange,_ Mario thought. He turned back to the Dining Specializer. Maybe he should choose something a bit healthier than just chocolate and cake? His eyes fell on the chocolate items again and his mouth began to water, just as it had before. Oh, but the chocolate was SO tempting…

"I'll a-take all of-a 'em," he told Saffron.

~Fin~

 _This was just a silly little thing that I decided to write down while I work on a much bigger project. I hope it made you laugh and made your day just a little bit brighter, even if it's just a tiny bit._


End file.
